I’ve heard it said my whole life … forgive and forget … that’s how you get past hurts. Well, let me tell you, that’s easier said than done. There’s plenty I think I’ve forgiven, but forgetting — now that’s a whole different ball of wax. Recently it hit me that until I’ve forgotten, perhaps I haven’t really forgiven. There’s really only one problem with the phrase: You can’t do it. It’s impossible!
You can’t forget when you’ve been hurt, so don’t even try. When I’ve tried to forget, I wind up focusing on the hurt that much more. I think I’ve been doing it all wrong. I haven’t been trusting that God will get me through the hurt to where I can forget and then I can actually forgive. Whenever I see God bring good out of a bad situation, I can thank him for that good work. It’s impossible to thank Him for things not forgotten.
Scripture (Romans 8:28) says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” It doesn’t say that all things are good … all things are not good. Diseases are not good … broken relationships are not good … wars are not good … abuse is not good.
As Rick Warren explains, there’s plenty in this world that is pure evil. For sure, not everything that happens in this world is God’s will. But God says He will work good out of the bad things in life if we will just trust Him.
If we ask, God will take all of our broken pieces and give you back peace that surpasses all understanding in your heart. This peace will come when you realize you can forgive, even if you don’t understand the hurts in your life, because you know God will use that pain for good.
You don’t have to forget the wrong thing someone did to you. You couldn’t do it even if you tried! But God says you don’t have to forget it. You just have to forgive and then see how he will bring good out of the hurt.
Now at 73, it’s easy for me to look back on my past and see my failures rather than my successes, to regret that I can’t go back for a “redo” to take back words I’ve said and decisions I’ve made that caused pain to myself and others, to wonder what my life would be now if I had made different, and perhaps better, decisions. But now at an older, hopefully wiser, age, I realize that God IS still at work in me. The following blessing spoke to me:
“When you come to the edges of yourself and you see the limits of your love, your generosity, and your willingness to give of yourself…instead of despair, just whisper a prayer to the God who loves you. He’ll do for you, in you, and through you what you cannot do for yourself. He never rolls His eyes or breathes a heavy sigh when He looks at you. He loves you. May you–right in the midst of your limits and your need–look to Jesus who intends to finish what He started in you. May you focus more on His goodness than on your ‘badness’ because He’s better than you know and loves you more than you can comprehend. Walk freely today, knowing you (like the rest of us) are a work in progress. And you get to be; without the condemnation. Blessings on your day this day!” (Susie Larson)
Debby Efurd is co-founder of Cary John Efurd Ministries of Pittsburg, TX. She has been a contributor to Bound for Life and written numerous articles published in LifeNews, Christian Post and the Baptist Standard, and is the author of Go Tell It! Debby can be contacted at caryjohnefurdministries@gmail.com.
Tagged: forgiveness, trusting God
