As I was preparing to write this article on how to deal with difficult people, I originally intended to title it “Grumpy Old Men” after one of my favorite movies from 1993. Then it hit me — that’s not true. It’s not just men who can be grumpy, nor can it be just old men. If the truth be told, difficult “grumpy” people come in all ages, all sexes, shapes and sizes and they seem to be all around. So how do you deal with these difficult “grumpies”?
Without a doubt, you and I know people who are a challenge, or “difficult” in one way or another. Sometimes it’s co-workers, sometimes it’s neighbors, and more often than not family members. These difficult people may be condescending, argumentative, belligerent, selfish, flippant, obtuse, or simply rude. One thing they all have in common is a distinct ability to “push our buttons” and stir up trouble. Dealing with difficult people can become a monumental exercise in patience, love, and grace.
As Christians, how we respond to difficult people should mirror how Jesus dealt with many difficult people during His ministry on earth. He never displayed an attitude of haughty superiority or “look down your nose” pride. He did, however, show authority under control. He rebuked some (John 8:47), but also dealt with some by remaining silent (John 8:6), or He would ask questions (Mark 11:28–29), and very often told a story (Luke 7:40–42).
In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, He was very specific about dealing with difficult people in love and humility: “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:27–31). He also reminded us not to repay evil or insult in like kind, but repay evil with blessings. (1 Peter 3:9).
Pride is a big downfall when dealing with difficult people. Paul said (Romans 12:3): “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” We are told to show God’s love to everyone—especially the grumpy ones.
Dealing with difficult, grumpy people may be unavoidable in this world of ours. Oh, it’s easy to spout off, dishing it out to them the same way they dish it out to us. But that just brings out the worst in us. By God’s grace, we can deal with difficult people in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and—to top it all off—self-control. Bottom line, it’s giving those “grumpies” the same love, grace, and mercy that God showed to each of us.
I’m going to start practicing how to treat people the right way, so as not to become a “grumpy” person myself. Will you join me?
Debby Efurd is co-founder of Cary John Efurd Ministries of Pittsburg, TX. She has been a contributor to Bound for Life and written numerous articles published in LifeNews, Christian Post and the Baptist Standard, and is the author of Go Tell It! Debby can be contacted at caryjohnefurdinistries@gmail.com. Visit her at the Second Mile blog at https://debbyefurd.com.
Tagged: God’s love, patience, scripture
