When I was young, I would like at those older than me (like parents, teachers, neighbors) and think to myself … “what’s it like to be so old?” Then once I reached the ages I was remarking about, I kept wondering … “where has the time gone?”
Well, I’m at that point and beyond. Now I’ve reached the age where I am forced to set limits, letting go of some beloved activities, because I no longer have the energy.
I’ve shared before some healthcare challenges I’ve been facing. It seems that in retirement I go to doctors more than any other activity. Most recently I’ve decided to take a sabbatical from some writing assignments. Next week I may let go of something else. For now, I’m learning to set limits, control boundaries, and just say “no.”
When I hear the word “boundary,” I tend to think of something that holds me back instead of something that creates safety. That’s my lack of understanding of what safe boundaries are all about.
If I think long and hard about it, I can think of God as a boundary setter? God-given boundaries shapes my life. I live in a particular place and time with specific talents and skills. I only have so much energy and capacity. These parameters aren’t intended to stop me … instead, these limits can show me where to focus and use as an outlet for the gifts God has given me.
I also need to learn how to set boundaries if I’m to thrive. Saying “no” to new opportunities can mean protecting my “yes” to the commitments God presents to me. Setting boundaries around my time can allow me to focus on rest, relationships, or work. And setting boundaries with people can help protect me from unhealthy relationships that take advantage of me in ways God never intended! The Bible book of Proverbs says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23). A guard is a boundary, a definitive line or limit that defends me from sin, distraction, and unnecessary brokenness.
Consider all the God-given guards in your life. I see them as protecting my life-giving rest, relationships, creativity, and commitments. Practice with me and learn to tell people “No”! Just like Jesus does, God calls us to set boundaries for an anxiety-free, abundant life.
I’m looking forward to my new season of “setting limits!”
Debby Efurd is co-founder of Cary John Efurd Ministries of Pittsburg, TX. She has been a contributor to Bound for Life and written numerous articles published in LifeNews, Christian Post and the Baptist Standard, and is the author of Go Tell It! Debby can be contacted at caryjohnefurdinistries@gmail.com. Visit her at the Second Mile blog at https://debbyefurd.com.
