It seems no matter how old I am, I always remember certain things from my childhood. Most pertain to what my father and mother told me. What I heard a lot was, “mind your tongue, young lady!” I admit, I was stubborn and wanted my way most of the time (well, actually, all the time). When I would sound off, I was in trouble. I didn’t learn my lesson about controlling my tongue until much later in life. It was after I observed what a powerful weapon the tongue can be. It’s a double-edged sword, capable of tearing a person apart or building a person up.
I’ve had a lot of experience witnessing what happens to someone who is repeatedly told, day after day, that they are stupid, worthless, unworthy, that they should never have been born. You can find examples of this in almost every family. I believe this contributes to the breakdown of the family structure. I also believe if you don’t think you’re any good, a person will live up to it—being no good.
Now the opposite is certainly true, too. If we are told we are good, kind, sweet, loving, and that there is no limit to our potential, then we want to live as though there is no limit to the good we can do on this earth. One of my favorite pastors of the faith shared an excellent example recently. Lee Strobel was an atheist turned Christian. He readily shares what his relationship was like with his father, who heavily influenced his decision not to believe in God.
Strobel was an unwelcome surprise for his dad from the beginning: “I was always trying to achieve things to impress him and earn his love, but I felt like I fell short.” Then he said, “The night before my high school graduation, our difficult relationship exploded. He told me he didn’t have enough love for me to fill his little finger.” Strobel then stormed out of the house, planning never to return. Strobel lived many years estranged from his father, devoting himself to drinking to drown the pain.
But God had other plans for Lee. After marriage and having a young child, Lee’s wife became a Christian. However, Lee was determined to prove to his wife she was wrong to decide to be a Christian. Lee then began an investigation to prove the errors of his wife’s faith. As hard as he tried, though, Lee could not prove she was wrong and wound up accepting Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.
Scripture says, “LORD, set up a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3. The Hebrew word for guard is not found anywhere else in Scripture except in this verse. It means literally “a watch.” We are to guard against speaking wrongly by carefully watching — and weighing — our words before we let them escape our lips.
One thing is for certain — for better or worse, our past shapes us. As Lee Strobel says himself, “the choices we make as adults are often colored by the decisions our parents made.” Indeed, you or I may be the lighthouse in somebody’s storm, so watch your words wisely!
Debby Efurd is co-founder of Cary John Efurd Ministries of Pittsburg, TX. She has been a contributor to Bound for Life and written many articles published in LifeNews, Christian Post and the Baptist Standard, and is the author of Go Tell It! Contact Debby at caryjohnefurdministries@gmail.com.
Tagged: fathers, words matter
