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For the past six weeks I’ve been on a sabattical from blogging.  At last that’s what I told everyone.  Actually, I’ve been filled with self-doubt about myself while sitting on a pity pot doing nothing.  I’ve been searching my soul to gain clarity on what my purpose is in this chapter of my life.  The answer is I don’t have a clue.

It all happened so innocently.  Someone I admired made the comment that they love reading my blog, but lately I was getting a “little too preachy.”  While I’m sure their comment was not meant to harm, I didn’t take it that way.  Before long, one thought led to another and I found myself on sabattical.  What I was really thinking was, “well, I’ll show you.”

I made my pity pot pretty comfortable.  Soon I didn’t want to leave the house or engage in any activities.  I reasoned it was easier to isolate from the world than to engage in it. I was making a statement … the only problem was no one knew it but me.

I know from past experience isolation and self-doubt are killers that lead to very unhealthy habits.  I had to push myself to reach out to friends.  I’m glad I did, because they didn’t let me down.  It was their listening, constant love and words of encouragement that turned my stinking thinking around.

What have I learned these past six weeks?  I learned I must remain engaged.  I learned I must keep trying.  I learned that when I stumble, I must get up.  I learned I must always remember I will never be perfect.  I learned I must always remain grateful.

I can do this one day at a time … glad I’m back.

 

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. – C.S. Lewis

Tagged: engage, get up, grateful, hope, pity pot, self doubt, soul searching, stumble

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