Our recovery groups have just completed the Fall sessions. This is eight weeks of group sessions with daily Bible study. Women walking in scared, timid, wondering why they are attending just another Bible study, walk out eight weeks later happy, free, able to breathe fully as a transformed woman. I tell the women walking in it’s like climbing a mountain. You look up at the mountain when you start thinking, “I can’t do it.” But then you hook on to someone who has climbed the path before, and together you reach the top of the mountain. Read some of their comments:
“Can you keep a secret? I can. For 35 years, I kept my teenaged abortion a secret. No one was ever supposed to know. Not my parents, my extended family, my children, no one would ever know because I would carry this secret with me to the grave. I certainly didn’t want the people in my church to know, the people I sat in pews with and sang in choirs with and whose children I cared for in nurseries. How would they ever understand the terrible thing I had done? They wouldn’t, because I was certain nothing as ugly as abortion had ever crossed their perfect paths. Only I was wrong. Someone who looked like me, and lived like me, and who worshiped like me stood up in church one morning and testified about the truth of her abortion and her secrets and the web of lies she entangled herself in. And that truth? It’s that there is forgiveness and healing in Jesus Christ, even for the sin and pain of abortion.”
“My story began with the enemy telling me lies. I was angry with everyone, did not listen to anyone and was so promiscuous because I was not loved, or so I thought. God Loved Me! My life was confusing and I with an “A” type personality, I was always right and everyone was wrong. This was the lie. However, Jesus showed me the way to Him. The cross was what changed me when I heard that God had plans for women who had had an abortion, and that women over this entire land needed to be healed. I have found God was showing me that I needed to let my past go completely. I thank God for his Son, Jesus Christ and I thank Jesus Christ for the cross; for loving me enough to wait patiently for me to surrender. To allow me to know I can live life abundantly through meditating on what is true, of good report, just, loyal, pure, virtuous and praiseworthy things. God forgave me, and I was able to say good-bye to my children and ask God to take care of them until I am able to see them in Heaven. Praise the Lord, Hallelujah!!!”
“I have been saved for 4 years and I changed a lot from who I was, but something was missing. I felt an ever growing fear of anger from God, I felt He didn’t really love me. Because of this, I strived daily and religiously to ‘keep Him happy,’ but my efforts availed to none. I heard of the post abortion class via radio and heard the voice of God in my heart to join. I was afraid, broken and I hid all of my pain by my religious efforts. So much so when I began the class from day one I wrote it off as a joke, but God had a plan. This class was hard emotionally, but it was the first time I met a relationship with my Savior versus a religion. I learned the lies I believed were not true, I faced the pain of losing my child, and the unforgiveness I had stored up that held me back. Now I am free from the lies, the hurt, the silence, and the shame. I released my daughter into God’s hands, I have nothing but joy and awe over my experience and I will never look back. I know now I have authority and I will use it to stop the lies of abortion and the chains woman have been placed in. I now am bold, confident and a bright woman, because I have surrendered my secret and been set free. Thank you!”
“I was raised in the church but did not understand about a personal relationship with Christ. I really remember learning about the do’s and don’t’s and the “rules” of the church but don’t really remember learning about grace. When I went off to college and I stopped going to church because that was where the perfect people were and I did not feel perfect anymore inside. My life took a very drastic turn when one day I found out I was pregnant. Once again I was not going to let this out, how could a girl from a Christian home ever be pregnant without being married. I always wanted to be the one who waited for marriage how could I face the world and let them see my mistake I had made. So I did it one more time buried my secret put on a happy face and chose abortion because it would solve my problem. Little did I know how much pain this choice would make for me life. Starting from the day I did it I was buried in guilt and shame, a part of me died that day along with my baby girl, Marilyn Joy. That day two people’s dreams were killed. I thought I could just push the pain away, like I did with every other negative thing that had happened in my life. At this time I was not active in church but I felt the presence of God always with me, I just felt he was really upset at me and how could I be forgiven for all my mistakes. I did start going to church and started to understand the story of grace but I still felt like I had to do so many things to be a Christ follower. I prayed the prayer and asked Jesus to take over my life, but there were still so many things I wanted to still hide from God. He was slowly showing me how to live but I had made a pattern of pretending so it was hard to stop. In 2009 all of the secrets and pretending came to a head, I had a nervous breakdown on mother’s day weekend. The medical community wanted to tell me I was suffering from bi-polar/schizophrenia. I began to talk about all my issues I had hid, my abortion, my trouble with money, etc. I became real with only a few people. I now know I was suffering from trauma from my abortion and of the way I had always dealt with life—by putting it under the rug and too afraid to talk about anything. I would go back and forth on giving my burdens over to Him. There was one thing though that I thought I never could get forgiveness for- my abortion. I suffered from very depressed emotions and guilt from this one choice. God kept working on my heart and led me to a recovery Bible study ….he knew what he was up to. That was one of the most eye opening bible studies I have participated in. I know today that all my mistakes I have made are all wiped clean because of what Christ did on the cross for ME over 2000’s years ago. He knew the choices I would make and that is why He chose to come to this earth, to die for ME because he loved me, the sinner ,that much. I am assured that all things work together for the good of those who love God. I understand the power of forgiveness and realize that I have to forgive because I have been forgiven. I understand that God loves me perfectly and wants the best for me and nothing can ever separate me from His love. I can take all my experiences and go tell the world of Christ’s love now and really understand it. I really hope to help people really understand the gospel and know that it is for them. I am ready to be a light in this dark world and help expel the lies the enemy has brought to this world—because I am free in CHRIST and I can do anything with Him by my side. “
These are women whose lives have been transformed and have found their voices, ready to share what Jesus Christ has done in their lives. Each one can tell you what a magnificent view from the top looks like.
Tagged: church, fear and worry, forgiveness, Jesus, pro-life
