Decisions we make in our lives often have repercussions not only for us, but for others as well. This was true for me when in 1973 I found myself pregnant and single. Afraid of what my parents would think, too ashamed to tell anyone, I resorted to any means to hide my predicament, and the “way out” I chose was abortion.
From the day I drove home from the abortion clinic, I closed myself off from others, put on my happy face and tried to forget what I’d done. I hid behind walls of shame and guilt that grew higher and thicker year after year. I didn’t allow myself to feel anything, not crying or laughing for a very long time. I turned to external comforts to soothe my inner turmoil. I exhibited signs of Post Abortion Stress, but didn’t realize until years later that unresolved grief was causing the problems. So I ran, hiding from God because I thought my abortion was too big for God to forgive.
But no matter how far or fast I ran from the truth, God never left me, He kept pursuing me until I fell in a pit so deep the only direction I could reach was up to my God in Heaven. It was at that point in 2010 I surrendered, stopped running, saw my need, and sought recovery. That’s when restoration began. Thank God … Forgiveness is amazing! I CAN NOW BREATHE.
Healing and restoration continues every time I share my story. Little by little my memory is returning from those “lost years,” restored to provide solace to others going through similar trauma. My journey through the pain to restoration now enables me to help others wounded by abortion discover a full life in Jesus Christ.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t regret my decision to abort, but I am now free from the guilt of that decision. There are many “silent sufferers” all around us, sitting on every church pew. From me to you: You are not alone. There is help, hope and healing available.
Tagged: abortion recovery, forgiveness, pro-life
