Thanksgiving this year was a fabulous time with family (and some of the best food) ever! As we gathered around the table, each person shared what they were thankful for. Some were thankful for their faith, others for relationships, and everyone agreed we were thankful for freedom. Everyone was asked what book (other than the Bible) had profound impact on their lives and why. I told everyone my favorite was The Diary of Anne Frank which I had read when I was 10. That set off quite a discussion. Someone else said it was a book on forgiveness they had recently read. This discussion proved to be a refresher course for me on the importance of forgiveness.
Throughout my life I have had a lot of experience with forgiveness and unforgiveness. This subject is difficult for most and impossible for some. It’s a matter of the heart. I’ve always heard “forgive and forget,” but I’ve always wondered how that really works. I think that time does have a way of achieving the “forget” part of the equation. What I have learned is that forgiveness is like a missed step. It’s one that’s just a bit higher than others and easier to trip over
In all relationships there comes anger, heartache and pain. After my relationship with Christ grew, a lot of forgiveness had to take place, both for me and for others – and it came in stages. The decision to forgive happened instantly, but dealing with emotions thereafter happened over time.
Still, despite how hard forgiveness can be, Jesus tells us it is at the very core of the Christian faith. It’s a foundational theme in Jesus’ teachings. Scripture says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).
Being recipients of forgiving grace through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross isn’t the hard part. What is hard, for me, is being a giver of that forgiving grace. Sometimes the person I need to forgive just doesn’t want it or thinks they need it. What I’ve learned is that’s not on me, that’s on them. When something triggers the hurt in my heart all over again, instead of giving in to the hurt that can so quickly turn to bitterness, I have to remind myself that I have already forgiven that person. Then I turn my emotions over to God to deal with.
Scripture also says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13). Now that’s heavy … let that sink in. When I remember how much and how often God has fully forgiven me for everything I’ve ever done to wrong Him, it becomes easier to forgive those who’ve hurt me. God’s forgiveness of me drives me to forgive others.
I’ve known many people who refuse to forgive and I can honestly say holding onto the unforgiveness and bitterness makes them mad, sad, and bitter … never pleasant to be around. Jesus says there is no crime too heinous, no abuse too perverse, no act too vile, to warrant holding on to unforgiveness. When choosing to forgive, we not only live out a foundational tenet of our faith, but also we put a stop to the endless cycle of revenge — releasing the burden of bitterness and making the world beautiful through grace.
For me, this Thanksgiving lesson on forgiveness was a great refresher course on a subject this old world could certainly use more of. It reminds me of a quote by Mark Twain: “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” For me, the day I found out why was when I discovered the importance of forgiveness.
Tagged: forgiveness, gratitude, Jesus, Thanksgiving
